理燕菲惦棐波 发表于 2014-2-17 04:02:41

一提结婚我就有窒息感

    我和我男朋友认识快2年了,我们是09年年底时认识的,现在他是28岁,我是27岁,他是在我最落魄无助的时候认识的,那时我工作也不好,再加上司法考试没有考过等等原因,很悲观落魄,他当时觉得我是很单纯的有点小忧郁的那种小女生,没事就陪我出去玩什么的,请我吃饭,也就是他喜欢我希望我做他女朋友。

    他并不是我看见第一眼就喜欢的男生,但是他一直对我很好,我就和他好了,那时觉得我们都还不是很大,没有想过太多的结婚的问题,可是慢慢的相处,总是有很多不愉快的地方,包括发现在他身上有很有我不喜欢的缺点和坏毛病。

    还有就是工作的问题,我们两个人的工作都不是很好,赚的钱也不是很多,我总是觉得结婚之后压力会很大,而且现在面对他越来越没有安全感了,总是觉得他不成熟,让我很不踏实,去年一年我们也闹过几次分手,大部分是我提出来的,因为那时因为他的工作不稳定,赚的钱很少,再加上不在一起上班,让我非常没有安全感。

    他也是因为无法忍受我总是闹分手受不了也说过分手,但是也就冷几天,最后不是我想他了就是他想我了,最终也没分开。

    去年年底他们家提出要订婚,可是我还是很害怕,害怕到那种几乎窒息的感觉,总是觉得天都塌了那样,我想了好久我不愿意订婚,我就说分手了,因为都那么大了,既然我不想订婚,也不要耽误人家,只能说分手了,因为我自己也不知道什么时候愿意和他订婚,我也不知道他什么时候能让我十足的安全感去和他结婚,我总是很恐惧很迷茫。

    我和他说分手,他很生气,但是他还是和我联系,因为他心里有我,我也和他联系,我心里也有他。他一直都愿意和我结婚,就是我一直逃避。只要是一提结婚我就立刻想到工作啊,孩子啊什么的一大堆的问题,让我压抑的喘不过气来。

    我知道他是真的爱我的,我心里也是真的有他,就是面对结婚我也不知道我为何如此惊慌恐惧,我自己知道我心里是有他的,因为他只要说我要是不愿意和他结婚的话现在就分手,永远不要联系,他立刻去和别人结婚,我就心里很难受很难受。

    我就想假如他真的和别人结婚了我也不敢想象我是怎样的心情。其实有时看着他确实没有那种很新鲜很喜欢的感觉,可是一想到分开,心里就很痛很痛,现在他找到一份待遇还算可以的工作,他让我好好考虑一下我们订婚的事情,他的意思是大概今年元旦订婚吧,要是我还不愿意的话,现在就分手。

    我当初就觉得压力很大啊,一连好几天了我都回不过神来,分开舍不得,狠不下心来,一想到订婚结婚吧,我又万分恐惧,这几天可是累死我了,经常在晚上睡觉和中午睡午觉时还会想到这问题,一醒来,觉得心里很空很茫然很无助,然后就是一整天就心情沉重无精打采的,好累啊,怎么办?

   











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popief 发表于 2015-4-4 14:28:19

很好啊.谢谢楼主啊











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